Who Celebrates the Ordinary Life?

On belonging, small gatherings, and making room at the table.

A graduation comes with a gown. A wedding comes with invitations. A new baby arrives into a world that already knows how to arrange a shower.

There is something lovely about having a shared language for those occasions. We know to bring flowers, write a card, make a toast. We know to show up.

But a great deal of life happens between the occasions.

Someone starts again in a place where they know almost nobody. Someone spends a year caring for another person. Someone makes it through a difficult season and finds themselves, on an otherwise unremarkable Tuesday, ready to invite a friend over.

There may be no announcement. There may not even be a photograph.

I wonder who we remember to celebrate when there is nothing obvious to put on the invitation.

A life beyond the milestones

I make wedding and celebration cakes, so the big occasions have a very real place in my work. I understand wanting something beautiful at the center of a day you have imagined for a long time.

Still, I would hate for celebration to become another measure of whether a life is progressing on schedule.

Marriage, children, a new home, a promotion: these are meaningful things. They also describe only some of the ways a life can unfold. A person can be growing, giving, rebuilding, or quietly becoming more themselves without reaching a milestone that other people recognize.

Their birthday still comes around. They still have a favorite flavor. They might still like someone to make a fuss.

What would it look like to remember that before the next major announcement?

The difference a little attention makes

Think about the details that make a celebration feel personal. A color chosen because it belongs to the person being celebrated. A song they love. A handwritten note that says something more specific than “congratulations.”

The thought behind those choices is something a guest can feel.

That is part of what draws me to custom cake design. A cake gives those details a place to land. Color, shape, texture, a few carefully chosen words: there is room to make something that could only have been meant for this person.

And the gathering around it can be small. Two friends at a kitchen table are enough people to share dessert. A birthday does not lose its meaning because the guest list fits on one hand.

There is also a kind of relief in being invited exactly as you are. You do not have to arrive with impressive news to be welcome.

Make room for the quieter occasions

Perhaps there is a friend you keep meaning to have over. Someone whose birthday falls during a busy week. A person who has been doing a great deal for everyone else, and whom you would like to thank.

Start with the person.

What would they actually enjoy? Dinner with a few familiar faces? Coffee and cake in the afternoon? A little surprise left at their door? Some people love a room singing to them. Others would much rather have a quiet conversation and a second slice.

A thoughtful celebration should leave room for that difference. It should also leave room for a person to decline. Being noticed feels best when it comes with care for who you are, including how you like to spend your time.

You can use the plates you already have. You can keep the menu simple. You can choose a date because everyone is free, rather than because the calendar has given it a name.

Who could you gather around?

I would like to make more room for the ordinary life. The friendship that has lasted. The person who keeps showing up. The birthday in a year that was mostly work, laundry, errands, and trying again.

There is plenty there to celebrate.

Think of someone whose company you enjoy, then give them a reason to come over. Tell them what you appreciate. Put something good on the table.

They do not need an extraordinary announcement.

You can simply be glad they are here.

— Geneva de Geus

Bring someone to the table

Planning a birthday, a thank-you, or a small gathering in Northern Colorado? Browse my celebration cakes, see current starting prices, or tell me what you have in mind. The Cake Studio FoCo is based in Wellington.

You can also browse The Geneva Collective, my Amazon storefront. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

For more cake and celebration inspiration, find The Cake Studio FoCo on Pinterest.